Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
