There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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