I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize