Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize