roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
