5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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