Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize