I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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