time to smoke my breakfast
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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