sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
