babies were throwing up all over the place
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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