just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
