Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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