does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
