last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize