THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
