some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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