hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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