I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
