well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Help. Why am I so naked?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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