So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize