I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need moral support for this bender
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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