omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
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iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
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well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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