I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
