Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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