no, he came in my armpit
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
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