There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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