Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
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She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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