Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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