You're completely useless in the revolution.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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