At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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