i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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