i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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