CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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