Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
