Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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