I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
