I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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