I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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