Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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