Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
