she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
