Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
