I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
