You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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