Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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