I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
