I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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