They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
