I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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