1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I love you. Go after that dick
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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