absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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