i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
