I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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