this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
